Stormbreaker grinds out a mysterious -yet cliched - five tubes of green liquid out of ten.
Stormbreaker was a book whose author also wrote the screenplay for this film. As far as I know, there are no funny or interesting stories about it's development. Let's move on.
We start well, with a shot of Ewan McGregor throwing dynamite at something (I don't know what, but I'm sure it deserved it.) but we move swiftly on to a car chase with a twist; our hero is riding his bike. Fortunately the scene doesn't last long and we're allowed to forget about it soon. The boy soon graduates from push bike wannabe to genuine quadbike superspy, anyway. On a related note, how do spies manage to run so well in suits? They must have good tailors. The direction, from TV man Geoffrey Sax is pretty sound really, with a couple of good moments - the camera reels and blurs as the lead is depressed, which is useful really; I'm not sure I'd have realised if it hadn't.
The first rule, I hear, is Don't Work With Children (at 15, I'm counting Alex Pettyfer as a child). Failing that, I guess, don't give the aforementioned child a script with more wobbly lines than an arthritic blow dealer. The best actors in the world would struggle with "this doesn't change anything, you're still my enemy". Cut the kid some slack. The leading man is very good at all the climbing, fighting, running and whatnot that kids get up to these days, but he's immeasurably worse when he starts talking. I guess he'll get better.
As a British film, Stormbreaker was obliged to feature Bill Nighy. He plays the spy chief with caricature stoniness and exaggerated gravitas (take notes, Pettyfer) and, with the other experienced thespians, carries the film through it's thinner moments. Mickey Rourke takes an enjoyable turn as our disgruntled would-be school poisoner...I assume the green tubes were poison, I wasn't paying attention. Irrepressibly wonderful Stephen Fry is the world-weary Hamley's based gadgets man, who doles out an ever-increasingly unbelievable toys. I don't care what you say, Stephen, Sodium Pentathol does not make someone do whatever you tell them for one hour. The characters are almost universally carbon copy stereotypes but I think everyone concerned knows that this is essentially the ultimate fantasty of any adolescent boy so we know where we stand. Make what joke out of that you will, but I couldn't think of a better way to word it.
I can't think of a reason anyone other than males aged between 11 and 16 would want to see Stormbreaker (I guess girls of a similar age could admire the lead?). Having obtained my copy because Stephen Fry was in it, I suppose I caught the tail end of the appeal and watched with a cheery nostalgia. A good kid's film I think, and hopefully I will dream about being a teenage spy tonight (far better escapism than all this wizardy nonsense.) but there's expectedly little in the piece to surprise you.
